Wednesday 23 March 2011

Faking it

Faking it - pretending to like certain foods

Imagine you at some sort of social function, your host is eagerly offering you a beautifully presented tray of handmade appetisers and announces with a smile that they are black pudding croquettes.  However you cannot stand black pudding. You have a split second to decide your response; you can go either for the bold 'thanks but no thanks' and risk offending your host, or quickly gobble one down through a false smile.

Sometimes there is no choice I'm afraid; you'll just have to eat up. Not many of us will be honoured with an invitation to tea with the queen, but if you are I strongly recommend not rejecting a cucumber sandwich. And you would have to be quite a horrid person indeed to send back food at a wedding.

Some foods are easier to reject than others. I don't imagine anyone would bat an eyelid if your hated food was say, bananas but it seems there are certain foods that we (especially us foodie types) are supposed to like. Top of my list is caviar. I'm not convinced that anyone really likes caviar. A quick poll among friends and family
(both those who share my love of food and those who don't give two hoots) proved general confusion about why it is meant to be so great. Olives are a close second; I'm not a fan but they seem to be a ubiquitous appetiser in all mid-range restaurants.

I detest anchovies, I just can't get on with offal and I believe the only thing that should be served 'tartare' is tartare sauce. However, politely reject an offer of these foods and you may find yourself instantly lowered from connoisseur to cretin. And woe betide you if you aren't a fan of cheese; there is a whole course dedicated to the stuff.

I was at a restaurant, nowhere particularly smart, and one of our party refused a glass of wine and instead ordered a rum and coke. Now I do struggle to understand how someone could not enjoy wine, but this girl does not. However she certainly did not deserve the look she received from our waiter. I never knew a single raised eyebrow could spell out 'pleb' so eloquently.

So, a plea. To the dinner party hosts, no black pudding or caviar appetisers please. You know your guests may be less than thrilled, don’t make them pretend, quit showing off and offer something more palatable. To all restaurateurs, please don't fill your menus with the trendy foods of the moment and tell your waiters to stop sneering at clientèle who are brave enough to order what they really want. And stop judging me when I reject your bowl of olives. I'm not a pleb, I just don't like olives.

1 comment: