I am a huge fan of Heston Blumenthal, have bought his books and watched all his tv programmes but until last weekend had never actually eaten in one of his restaurants. On Saturday the lovely fiancé and I headed to the Hinds Head, or to give it its colloquial name ‘Heston’s pub’ and I was very excitable on the hour’s drive over.
We easily found the very regular looking pub in a very attractive English village and eagerly walked in. Unfortunately my first sight was not of tasty food and contented patrons but a hoarde of wedding guests (I wonder if there is a collective term for wedding guests?) blocking my path to get to the maitre d’. Having politely nudged our way past we were very politely shown to our simple but elegantly laid table and introduced to our waitress, who we never saw again. She took LF’s drink order but I asked for a couple of minutes to peruse the wine menu, but she never came back for my order. Instead I had to wait until someone came for our food order to make the request. But, I didn’t mind, I was in a good mood, could see plates of very tasty food on neighbouring tables and soon had a large glass of wine in my hand.
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| Wild Mushroom Macaroni (That's not the camera, it really was that dark) |
The menu was well balanced and thankfully not too long as it was very hard to decide what to eat when you suspect everything will be fabulous. None of the starters wildly appealed to either of us and not having massive appetites we opted to go for mains and then dessert. Lovely fiancé opted for the venison cheeseburger, which I was very tempted by but I have a rather stupid rule that I won’t eat the same as him as you seem to be getting less experience for your buck (especially as I inevitably steal some from his plate and vice versa). I chose the wild mushroom macaroni with fried duck egg, my logic being that I wouldn’t normally order pasta in a pub as I fear something over cooked and bland so thought I would enjoy a really good pub pasta. I wasn’t disappointed the portion was reasonable without being large, the pasta was beautifully complemented by the oozing yolk but it was incredibly rich so although very tasty I wouldn’t have wanted more. The burger was also splendid, though the dressing on the lettuce was a teeny bit overpowering but that really is the only problem I can think of regarding the food. Naturally we ordered some of the famous triple cooked chips, and unsurprisingly they were the best chips I have eaten.
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| The mother of all cheeseburgers |
But, we never did get to the dessert. Not because we were completely full (I don’t think I could ever be too full for a good dessert) but rather because we were finding the atmosphere really oppressive and craved fresh air and a stroll along the Thames. The wedding party had disappeared upstairs, though I did have the bride, massive dress and all push past the table at one point, they were very noisy, as indeed a wedding reception should be… just not when I have gone out for a relaxing lunch. The lighting didn’t help at all, it is a beautiful old building, and old buildings do tend to be dark but with dim lighting it was very gloomy even at lunchtime with the sun shining.
The service really wasn’t good (please don’t think me overly negative, it does pain me to say anything negative about King Heston). Our table wasn’t properly cleared and we weren’t even offered desserts or a coffee until we had already asked for the bill. (The poor waiter did seem a little embarrassed when he realised our table had been somewhat forgotten about).
In a nutshell, the problem was that the Hinds Head tries to act like a restaurant but missed the mark, is it a pub or not I’m still not sure? We were met by the maitre d’, drinks orders were at the table rather than from a bar, about 95 per cent of the space was given over to dining not drinking and the prices all point to restaurant. But noisy wedding guests, five different waiters and poor service say pub.
So do go, definitely, for some fantastic food and I hope it was just an off day for the waiting staff. And should you be reading this, Heston, Clive Dixon et al you are so infuriatingly close to being perfect, just don’t hold wedding receptions unless they book out the place; decide if you are a pub or restaurant and turn the bloody lights up.
